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Opinion & Analysis

Swanson: I refuse to watch the Ryder Cup until these 7 things change



(Warning: Swanson is a fictional character)

The Ryder Cup is broken — more so than the hosel of a cast iron after trying to bend the lie angle more than one degree — but Swanson is here to fix it.

As an American and a golfer (and a pretty damn good one at that), I want nothing more than to support our team at the Ryder Cup, but I’m fed up. I am not fed up with America in general, but I AM fed up with the Ryder Cup, and I simply cannot sit idly by any longer and watch them ruin a tradition that started in 1927 at Worcester Sauce Country Club in Massachusetts.

If they would just listen to Swanson’s suggestions, the heart and soul of the event will be restored.

1) The pageantry

You know the last time the Ryder Cup was any good? The 1991 event at Kiawah Island. You know what they refer to the 1991 event as? The War at the Shore.

The Ryder Cup is not the time to get dressed up in ballroom gowns and show off your fancy dresses and wedding rings like Paulina Gretzky, or show off your expensive yet tasteless sunglasses and strut off private jets. The Ryder Cup is a battle ground for international war, not the set of a Sweet Sixteen party.

2) The sponsors

If it were up to me, the event wouldn’t even be televised. That way, the matches wouldn’t be so vanilla ice cream because sponsors wouldn’t control the event. Imagine this: Tommy Fleetwood decides not give Tiger Woods a two-foot gimmie putt on the first hole. Tiger puts him in a chokehold and doesn’t let him go until he submits, thus teaching young Tommy to be more generous with the gimmies throughout the event. Now that’s a real battle tactic, but the sponsors are handcuffing them.

Take the gloves off these guys and let them fight!

3) The equipment

With 460cc drivers, game improvement irons (I almost threw up in my mouth just typing “game improvement”), and urethane golf balls, the Ryder Cup is like a nuclear war. No one wants to watch that, and it’s not real golf.

You think the Revolutionary War was fought with nuclear bombs? No, that’s new age crap. The Rev War was fought with muskets and cannonballs. That’s a real battle.

Make these guys play with persimmon woods, niblicks and featheries and see which team of fighters come out victorious.

4) The venues and locations

Paris? We’re fighting a war of golfers in France?! If I wanted souffle and a famiche I’d go to Le Golf National. If I wanted to play golf I’d go to Scotland. The Ryder Cup should be played in only Scotland or Northern Ireland when team Europe hosts the battle. When America hosts the Ryder Cup, it should be played only at the finest private country clubs. After all, the courses should be a proper representation of the nation they represent. Europe is filled with sheep farms and peasants, so therefore, the Ryder Cup should be held at public goat tracks such as St. Andrews. When in America, land of the free and home of the brave, the Ryder Cup should be held at golf courses only the wealthiest of citizens can afford. After all, we didn’t fight the Revolution to play Ryder Cups at municipal courses in our home country.

5) The formats

All of the Ryder Cup participants make a huge deal about how “nervous” they get on the first tee, and how much “pressure” they feel throughout the weekend. You want to feel real pressure? Try playing in my weekend foursome where we have automatic presses at 2 down. Now try making a 4-foot slider on 17 with 4 different matches on the line, not just one.

Make these guys play in matches with auto-presses, then I’ll be intrigued.

6) The players

If you want to have automatic qualifiers for the top 8 on each team every year, that’s fine by me. They earned it. But with the captains picks, why do they continuously select professional golfers? It’s driving me crazy and I don’t understand it. Why would you select a professional golfer, who by all means is pampered with free clothes and clubs and agents and private jets all year, to fight an international battle representing your country? There needs to be more heart and nothing-to-lose mentalities on the battle field. I mean, there are thousands of completely broke and starving college athletes who are fantastic golfers who would probably be thrilled to go to war for their country on the golf course. Especially if you play it at a course like Le Golf National where the biggest danger in the area is getting lost inside the Louvre for a few minutes.

7) The captains

I can’t speak for the European Team captains, mainly because I don’t speak Scottish or Irish and I can’t understand a word they’re saying, but the American capatains have gone SOFT. I’ve seen Full Metal Jacket and Platoon twice, so I know that the captain should always be the one keeping his troops in order. Can you imagine Private Cowboy talking to Gunnery Sergeant Hartman the way Phil Mickelson talked to Tom Watson? And then they establish a “task force” where they let the players decide what goes?

The American captains have completely lost order. Where is Hal Sutton and his battle-ready cowboy hat when you need him to whip his stallions into shape.

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Swanson doesn't exist, except in his writing. He doesn't play for score any more, as he's too busy working on his spin rates. For tournament purposes, he has a 2 handicap on file from high school golf, registered at his home club, which is only reachable by private watercraft.



  1. kennyboy

    Sep 30, 2018 at 7:15 pm


  2. Turner

    Sep 28, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    Totally agree, Jack and Arnie have already said this.

  3. Rich Douglas

    Sep 28, 2018 at 3:58 pm

    “Where is Hal Sutton and his battle-ready cowboy hat when you need him to whip his stallions into shape.”

    I assume that’s a question missing a question mark. More important, Sutton’s team lost when he captained.

    If you want a real modern-day example, consider Zinger.

  4. Dissapointed

    Sep 28, 2018 at 2:27 pm

    I understand (or hope) that this article was meant to be sarcastic. But wow…what a waste of a read. Please stop posting content like this. I wish there was a button to the right of “shank” that said “whif”.

  5. ifc202

    Sep 28, 2018 at 8:18 am

    I thought this was awesome. Tiger putting Tommy in a headlock! Some of you need to pull the sticks out of you a$$es.

  6. Josh

    Sep 27, 2018 at 10:36 pm


  7. Lovejoy

    Sep 27, 2018 at 10:19 pm

    Don’t give up the shelf-stacking job at the supermarket….

  8. A. Commoner

    Sep 27, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    Not too good of a writing. But, number seven definitely has merit. PM’s absolute shameful public behavior never should be forgotten or forgiven.

  9. Carl Spackler

    Sep 27, 2018 at 3:14 pm

    This is by far the best article that Swanson has written. It sure is better than the high school girl/page 6 crap that the weird skinny Gianni guy and hipster Alberstat write.


    Sep 27, 2018 at 2:39 pm

    Could be about the dumbest thing I’ve read on this site. I understand this is a fictional character write up and was supposed to be funny in some way but was a big swing and miss. Please post a lot more content so this can be buried.

  11. Stop

    Sep 27, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    This just dorky, unnecessary content.

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Opinion & Analysis

A different perspective



A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to play a round with two of the greens keepers at a local golf course and it was a fascinating experience. It gave me a chance to get a behind-the-scenes view of what it takes to make a golf course great.

Many of us play at public courses, and sometimes its luck of the draw if the course we are at is in good condition. In my case, if I find a course that is well maintained and taken care of, I make it a regular stop. In this case, I was at Ridgeview Ranch in Plano Texas and it is a great public course and I play here at least once a month.

The two guys I played with were Tony Arellano and Jose Marguez. Both were great guys to share a round with. Tony shared what it’s like to make sure that all the greens are maintained properly and watered correctly. He showed me where there were some issues with one of the greens that I would never have noticed. We talked about how the invasion of Poa annua grass forces his guys to pull it out by hand with a tool that is smaller than a divot repair tool. It became clear to me that as a golf community, we need to lift up the people that do this labor-intensive work and thank them for all they do. Ridgeview Ranch is without a doubt one of the better public courses in my area, and it is because of the hard work these men do that keeps it this way.

As we watched the Masters tournament a few weeks ago we were awestruck by the awesome beauty of Augusta National and in my case I believe that is what heaven looks like. I think we take that kind of beauty for granted and forget the massive amount of time and hard work that go into making a golf course look good. These people have to deal with all of the different factors that Mother Nature throws at them and be prepared for anything. In addition to that, they also have to make sure the watering system is maintained as well as all of their equipment.

I have played at other courses in the DFW area that have a terrible staff and a superintendent that either don’t care about the course or don’t know how to stop it from falling apart. The course won’t spend the money to go get the right people that will take pride in their work. Some of these places will charge you more than $80 per round, and when you get to the first green that has dry spots that are without any grass you feel like you have been ripped off.

We all love this game not because it’s easy but because it’s a challenge and being good at it takes a ton of effort. We also love it because it gives us a chance to hang out with friends and family and enjoy time outside in the sun– hopefully without cell phone interruptions and other distractions of our modern day. We spend a ton of money on green fees, equipment and sometimes travel. We want to get what we pay for and we want to have a great course to spend the day at.

I wanted to write this article to thank all of those men and women that start work in the early hours of the day and work through the hottest stretches of the summer to keep our golf courses in great shape. They are people that never get the credit they deserve and we should always thank them whenever possible. Tony and Jose are just two examples of the people who work so hard for all of us. Ridgeview Ranch is lucky to have these two men who not only work hard but were fantastic representatives of their course. So next time you are out there and you see these people working hard, maybe stop and say thank you let them know what they do really makes a difference.

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Opinion & Analysis

5 most common golf injuries (and how to deal with them)



You might not think about golf as a physically intensive game, but that doesn’t change the fact it is still a sport. And as with every sport, there’s a possibility you’ll sustain an injury while playing golf. Here’s a list of the five most common injuries you might sustain when playing the game, along with tips on how to deal with them in the best way possible so you heal quickly.


While not directly an injury, it’s paramount to talk about sunburns when talking about golf. A typical golf game is played outside in the open field, and it lasts for around four hours. This makes it extremely likely you’ll get sunburnt, especially if your skin is susceptible to it.

That’s why you should be quite careful when you play golf

Apply sunscreen every hour – since you’re moving around quite a lot on a golf course, sunscreen won’t last as long as it normally does.

Wear a golf hat – aside from making you look like a professional, the hat will provide additional protection for your face.

If you’re extra sensitive to the sun, you should check the weather and plan games when the weather is overcast.

Rotator Cuff Injury

A rotator cuff is a group of four muscles that surround the shoulder joint. This group are the main muscles responsible for swing movements in your arms. It’s no surprise then that in golf, where the main activity consists of swinging your arms, there’s a real chance this muscle group might sustain an injury.

To avoid injuries to this group, it’s imperative you practice the correct form of swinging the club. Before playing, you should also consider some stretching.

If you get an injury, however, you can recover faster by following RICE:

Rest: resting is extremely important for recovery. After an injury, the muscles are extremely vulnerable to further injury, and that’s why you should immediately stop playing and try to get some rest.

Ice: applying ice to the injured area during the first day or two can help. It reduces inflammation and relaxes the muscles.

Compress: bandage the rotator cuff group muscle and compress the muscles. This speeds up the muscle healing process.

Elevate: elevate the muscles above your heart to help achieve better circulation of blood and minimize fluids from gathering.

Wrist Injuries

Wrist tendons can sustain injuries when playing golf. Especially if you enjoy playing with a heavy club, it can put some strain on the wrist and cause wrist tendonitis, which is characterized by inflammation and irritation.

You should start by putting your wrist in a splint or a cast – it is necessary to immobilize your wrist to facilitate healing.

Anti-inflammatory medicine can relieve some of the pain and swelling you’ll have to deal with during the healing process. While it might not help your wrist heal much quicker, it’ll increase your comfort.

A professional hand therapist knows about the complexities of the wrist and the hand and can help you heal quicker by inspecting and treating your hands.

Back Pain

A golf game is long, sometimes taking up to 6 hours. This long a period of standing upright, walking, swinging clubs, etc. can put stress on your back, especially in people who aren’t used to a lot of physical activities:

If you feel like you’re not up for it, you should take a break mid-game and then continue after a decent rest. A golf game doesn’t have any particular time constraints, so it should be simple to agree to a short break.

If you don’t, consider renting a golf cart, it makes movement much easier. If that’s not possible, you can always buy a pushcart, which you can easily store all the equipment in. Take a look at golf push cart reviews to know which of them best suits your needs.

Better posture – a good posture distributes physical strain throughout your body and not only on your back, which means a good posture will prevent back pain and help you deal with it better during a game.

Golfer’s Elbow

Medically known as medial epicondylitis, golfer’s elbow occurs due to strain on the tendons connecting the elbow and forearm. It can also occur if you overuse and over-exhaust the muscles in your forearm that allow you to grip and rotate your arm:

A nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug is the way to go to alleviate the most severe symptoms of the injury at the beginning.

Lift the club properly, and if you think there’s a mismatch between your wrist and the weight of the club, you should get a lighter one.

Learn when you’ve reached your limit. Don’t overexert yourself – when you know your elbow is starting to cause you problems, take a short break!

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TG2: Our PGA picks were spot on…and Rob hit a school bus with a golf ball



Rob picked Brooks to win the PGA and hit the nail on the head, while Knudson’s DJ pick was pretty close. Rob hit a school bus with a golf ball and we talk about some new clubs that are going to be tested in the next couple days.

Check out the full podcast on SoundCloud below, or click here to listen on iTunes or here to listen on Spotify.

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19th Hole