19th Hole
Let’s help Geoff Shackelford complete ‘The Golf Tournament Attendee’s Guide to Determining if you Have Loser Tendencies’
Geoff Shackelford penned a handy guide for anyone wondering whether s/he is in danger of becoming the type of tool who, say, repeatedly heckels Justin Thomas and roots for his tee shot to find a bunker.
And really, this is the kind of self-reflective exercise the PGA Tour should get behind to save those in danger of mashed potatoes oblivion.
Now, the title “The Golf Tournament Attendee’s Guide to Determining if you Have Loser Tendencies,” doesn’t quite hit the mark. “Loser” suggests one’s station in life, unfortunately, golf fan-related idiocy spans the spectrum and cuts across socioeconomic classes. We may need to cast a wider net with the nomenclature.
Still, Shackelford’s bullet-pointed guide is an important effort in protecting players and fans alike from bottom-feeder behavior. But we don’t want to profile golf fans, only distributing the guide to say, this guy
…so the Tour would do well to hand Shackelford’s guide to all spectators coming through the gates.
Here are a couple of the most important entries from this work of staggering genius. Shackelford suggests you may have loser tendencies if…
- You’ve had the urge to yell out Mashed Potatoes, Baba Booey or Fake News at a golf tournament during any point of your life. The Committee of experts consulted says that a mere urge is all you need to warrant certifiable, Grade A loser status.
- You’d rather go to the Waste Management Open than The Masters and you share this pearl with anyone who will listen
- You applaud when a streaker or any other heckler interrupts the tournament proceedings. You get extra points for admiring this year’s Waste Management Open streaker. (full disclosure, I did find the WMPO streaker funny. I may have loser tendencies)
- You believe in your heart that paying for a ticket entitles you to swear audibly around children, say terrible things to players, get drunk by noon and in general, act out all of your issues at a golf tournament.
- You go back home after the tournament and rewind the telecast to hear yourself taunt a player. Actually, that’s when you have bigger issues than mere loser status.
Indeed. GolfWRX members: I think we can help Mr. Shackelford in his holy endeavor. And perhaps, with a guide as long as Martin Luther’s 95 Theses, we can get it the document on Commissioner Monahan’s desk.
Check out Shackelford’s full list here.
What additions need to be made to the “The Golf Tournament Attendee’s Guide to Determining if you Have Loser Tendencies?”
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19th Hole
Man charged with stealing millions of dollars worth of memorabilia from Augusta National
According to a report from the Chicago Tribune, a man has been charged in Chicago with stealing millions of dollars’ worth of memorabilia from Augusta National.
The man, Robert Globensky, was charged with transporting the memorabilia across state lines.
The report states that between 2009 and 2022, Globensky allegedly transported “millions of dollars’ worth of Masters golf tournament merchandise and historical memorabilia” from Augusta National “and transported to Tampa, Florida, knowing the same had been stolen, converted and taken by fraud.”
The document was filed Tuesday in the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois.
Per the court records there is no mention that Globensky worked for the golf club.
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- 2-time major champ announces shock retirement from the sport at age of 33
- Edoardo Molinari reveals the latest PGA Tour golfer to turn down ‘good offer’ from LIV Golf
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19th Hole
Talor Gooch: 54 holes is more exciting for the fans
Over the past few weeks, two of LIV Golf’s biggest stars, Jon Rahm and Phil Mickelson, have both expressed that they believe LIV could go to 72 holes.
While speaking to BBC Sport, Rahm said he “wouldn’t mind” going to 72 holes.
“If there ever was a way where LIV could go to 72 holes I think it would help all of this argument a lot.”
“The closer I think we can get LIV Golf to some other things the better. I think it would be for some kind of unification to feed into a world tour or something like that.
“I don’t know if I’m alone in this, but I definitely wouldn’t mind going back to 72 holes.”
Phil Mickelson, while speaking after his final round at The Masters, also said he “wouldn’t be surprised” if LIV went to 72 holes.
“I don’t think it makes a difference either way. We’ve got mini-tours playing 54, Champions Tour playing 54. I wouldn’t be surprised if some or all of LIV events went to 72. I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. I enjoy the competition.”
Another one of LIV’s top players, Talor Gooch, expressed on Wednesday that he feels quite differently.
“It’s just funny to me, this arbitrary number of 72.”
“Why is it not 90? “Why is it not 108? We just decided to make that number the number, for what reason?”
“Everyone’s talked about world ranking points and all this stuff, but no one’s talked about what do the fans enjoy more?”
“People want something that’s going to be more exciting. And I personally think that the 54 holes is more exciting for the fans.”
After Gooch’s comments, I decided to get some fan feedback for myself, making a poll on X. With about 4,500 votes in at the time of writing this, roughly 84% of voters in the poll indicated they’d prefer 72 holes to just 16% saying they’d prefer 54.
Rahm prefers 72 holes
Gooch prefers 54 holesWhere do the fans stand?
— Matt Vincenzi (@MattVincenziPGA) April 17, 2024
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- The wild reason why Mark Wahlberg was initially denied entry to an Australian golf club
- 2-time major champ announces shock retirement from the sport at age of 33
- Edoardo Molinari reveals the latest PGA Tour golfer to turn down ‘good offer’ from LIV Golf
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19th Hole
Brandel Chamblee has ‘no doubt’ who started the McIlroy/LIV rumor and why
Earlier this week, rumors began to fly that Rory McIlroy could be making a shock switch to LIV Golf which caused quite the stir on social media.
However, on Tuesday, McIlroy emphatically shut down those rumors, telling Golf Channel’s Todd Lewis at the RBC Heritage at Harbour Town:
“I honestly don’t know how these things get started. I’ve never been offered a number from LIV and I’ve never contemplated going to LIV. Again I think I’ve made it clear over the past two years that I don’t think it’s something for me.
It’s unfortunate that we have to deal with it and this is the state that our game’s in. I’m obviously here today and I’m playing this PGA Tour event next week and I will play the PGA Tour for the rest of my career.”
Golf Channel analyst and longtime LIV critic, Brandel Chamblee, took to social media before McIlroy’s statement to point the finger at “Saudis/LIV,” who he believes started the rumor:
I have no doubt that this rumor was started by Saudis/LIV… to benefit Saudis/LIV after such a poor showing, as a group, at The Masters.
I’d be very surprised if this turns out to be true. https://t.co/SWNgjHtWSM
— Brandel Chamblee (@chambleebrandel) April 16, 2024
When one user pushed back on Chamblee’s claim that LIV golfers had a poor showing at the Masters, Brandel went further into why he believes the opening major of the year was a failure for the breakaway tour.
You think they paid 3 billion for a few top tens and to be +82 as a group at major? A senior citizen beat some of their “stars” and almost all the game’s of LIV players have deteriorated since they sold their souls to the Saudis who only bought a moment in time… nothing else. https://t.co/xERkYsztIJ
— Brandel Chamblee (@chambleebrandel) April 16, 2024
More from the 19th Hole
- The wild reason why Mark Wahlberg was initially denied entry to an Australian golf club
- 2-time major champ announces shock retirement from the sport at age of 33
- Edoardo Molinari reveals the latest PGA Tour golfer to turn down ‘good offer’ from LIV Golf
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