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Goat caddies (yes, goat caddies) are coming to Silvies Valley Ranch

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Move over Steve Williams, the real G.O.A.T. caddie is here. More specifically: the caddying goats are here. That’s right, folks, In 2018, The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch will offer guests goats at the resort’s 7-hole challenge course, McVeigh’s Gauntlet, this summer. Take that, Bandon Dunes!

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The professionally trained American Range Goats were born and bred at Silvies Valley Ranch. Seamus Golf has been tapped to design the custom got pack that will carry drinks, balls, tees, and a few clubs (players won’t need anything close to a full set on the Gauntlet).

“We’re taking the golf experience at Silvies Valley Ranch to a new level in 2018,” says Dr. Scott Campbell, veterinarian and owner of The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch. “We’ve been developing an unprecedented caddie training program with our head caddie, Bruce LeGoat, to ensure that he and his team are ready for the opening of The Gauntlet this summer.”

“We’re truly redefining both goat and golf operations at the ranch. Can you think of another course where its caddies were literally born, raised and fully educated on-property? We will get you a caddie who really knows the course and won’t give you any bad advice – and they work for peanuts!”

Bruce LeGoat! Peanuts! This sounds like the greatest innovation in caddying since the rangefinder. If you’re not excited for the debut of the Gauntlet Goats, well, check your chest for a beating heart.

Of course this good boy/girl is training hard through the winter for the important job ahead!

The 7-hole short course was conceived so golfers and play a quick, care-free round, settle bets, and marvel at the scenery across a series of short par 3s and par 4s (with goats). The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch opened for a preview in the summer of 2017. It features a 34-room, Western-inspired, eco-resort, the expected range of top-notch dining and spa facilities, as well as two reversible Dan Hixson-designed 18-hole courses. In addition to the 7-hole McVeigh’s Gauntlet, the property includes Chief Egan, a mountain meadow 9-hole par-3 course.

April marks the official opening season for The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch (although is doesn’t sound like the goats will be in action until later in the year). We’ll look forward to reports of four-hooved caddies’ first loops.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. paul

    Feb 14, 2018 at 1:23 pm

    IT would be nice if the author mentioned the location of the course. Geez.

  2. Si

    Feb 7, 2018 at 7:37 pm

    Very good… and the goats will nibble at the grass on the greens… as the sheep in ancient times were used to mow the greens.

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19th Hole

Terrible hats are proof Koepka not human, likely an alien robot from the future

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For all this talk about Brooks Koepka not receiving the credit he deserves, it’s time we put the focus on the important things — like hats. And the overwhelming evidence that Koepka is, in fact, a high-functioning alien robot. From the future.

Case in point: everyone who appreciates a classic aliens-hide-among-humans-disguised-as-humans movie knows the most important scene — the first reveal of the aliens! Think back to that first time you watched Men in Black, and that cold open where Tommy Lee Jones confronts “Mikey,” who turns out to be a flippered blue alien, and then (sadly) has to shoot Mikey when he attempts to attack a police officer with all seven of his limbs. A beautiful piece of filmmaking, no doubt.

Well, inadvertently, during the first two rounds of the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach, Nike pulled a Mikey, but without having Tommy Lee Jones’ famous memory-wiping technology. They weren’t quite ready to tell the world their poster boy of dominance wasn’t a real human, but the cat’s out of the bag, folks.

After all, if Koepka wasn’t a robot, how could we explain his willingness to wear that hat in public, let alone wear it on television, during one of the sports biggest stages, at one of the world’s best courses? And we all know exactly which hat we’re talking about — the one that looks exactly like your grandmother’s shower curtain in her spare bathroom. If we can all agree there’s no feasible way all the designers at Nike thought the hat in question actually looked good, we’re forced to consider…something mysterious is afoot. What is Nike trying to hide from us? They’re clearly trying to divert our attention away from something, but — what is it?!

The answer is clear. There’s a murderous blue alien robot underneath that hat. He just happens to be really damn good at golf.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’re well aware of Koepka’s dominance over the past 24 months. The dude has done nothing but win majors, winning with an aura of unflappability we haven’t seen since the original robot said “Hello, World” back when Koepka was learning how to read. (Or, more likely, Koepka never actually learned to read, just programmed to read).

Would it be that much of a surprise to learn Koepka is the world’s first successful application of Artificial Intelligence? A robot designed not for war, but a delightful piece of technology designed for smashing drives, pushing weights, and holing an obscene amount of pressure-packed putts.

Here’s where this gets tricky – what do we do next, golf fans? Do we call our suspicions into the USGA, the same way some dude at home on his couch somehow called a penalty(-ish) on Dustin Johnson a couple years ago? Probably not. We know with certainy the USGA would completely screw that up. They might not even rule on an appropriate penalty for Koepka’s non-humanness until the event is over, keeping us all in the dark all evening Sunday.

Here’s my thoughts: maybe we just accept it. Act like it’s n.b.d. Brooks Koepka is just an alien robot, most likely from some time in the future, sent here to entertain us with some of the most unbelievable golf we’ll ever see on this planet or the next.

But please, Nike, let’s all wink at each other with knowing smiles, and at least pretend he’s just your run of the mill (non-alien) professional golfer. Give him one of your clean looking white swoosh hats Rory wears. They look great! Or, hell, let him just take off the hat altogether and let the alien hang out. We don’t care. Just don’t make us look at grandma’s shower curtain over the weekend. It’s an insult to spare bathrooms everywhere.

 

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19th Hole

The 6 best #GolfWRX photos on Instagram today (6.14.19)

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In this segment, we’ll be taking a look at some of the best #GolfWRX tagged photos on Instagram. In case you aren’t already, there’s a whole load of action going on at our page, so follow us: @golfwrx

Let’s get to it then, here are six of the best #GolfWRX photos from the past 24 hours.

Dormie Workshop with limited edition covers using real flags from Pebble Beach.

 ”Banksy Gilmore” U.S. Open – Pebble Beach Headcover from American Flatsticks.

How about this custom Scotty from Embrace Putters?

Andrew Halford sharing his cool video of Tiger Woods on the practice green at Pebble Beach.

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Just @tigerwoods practicing putting.

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Immaculate work from those in charge at Pebble.

Swag’s King putter cover in action.

Get hashtagging your golf posts #GolfWRX for your chance to feature in our best of Instagram posts in the future!

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19th Hole

Jordan Spieth blasts caddie, Michael Greller, during round one of the U.S. Open after back-to-back errors

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Jordan Spieth began his U.S. Open campaign with a one-over round of 72, and on the eight hole at Pebble Beach, the Texan let his frustration spill over as he laid into his caddie, Michael Greller, after back-to-back mistakes.

The 25-year-old was even par at the time, but on the treacherous eight hole he hit his tee shot through the fairway and off the cliff, before taking a drop and hitting his third shot over the green.

Fox Sports microphones picked up Spieth’s frustration at this moment, as he appeared to blast his caddie.

“Two perfect shots, Michael. You got me in the water on one and over the green on the other.”

After his round, Spieth clarified that the comment was made due to his frustration that as a team, the two couldn’t figure out how to get things right on the hole.

“When you hit a couple of shots exactly where you want and one’s in the water and the next one’s dead over the green, I’m going to be frustrated that as a team we didn’t figure out how to make sure that didn’t happen.

I may have looked like the bad guy, but my intentions were that we should be in play if the ball is hit solidly.”

Spieth tees off on day two alongside Tiger Woods and Justin Rose at 11:24 AM ET.

 

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