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The Words Golfers Never Want to Hear

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Since this story (and the future stories I will share) may not paint me in the best light, I decided to write under a pen name. Full disclosure: my employer also didn’t think it was cool that I would be writing for a golf website. 

My wife came to me other day and said the words you never want to hear from your spouse: “I think we should quit the country club.” The chain of events this set off inside my head was like nothing you can imagine. On second thought, you’re on GolfWRX, so you know exactly what went through my head. I’ll save all the details of conversation for another time, but for now I can tell you that I put on quite a show after she uttered those words.

The best way I can describe the next hour of my life is to compare it to how you act when your wife shuts down your request to play 18….the day after you just played 36. You know deep down you shouldn’t be asking to play again, but you give it a shot anyway. It sounds something like this: “Oh honey, I’ll cut the grass when I get home.” Or “How about after the round, I take you to that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try?” Or “I know I played 36 today, but when I get back I’ll put a new roof on the house. Pleeeease.” We’ve all been there, and if you take that scenario and multiply it by 50, that’s where I was in my head.

At some point during this hour, I realized a couple of things. First, I realized golf is more than just a sport to me. It’s a way of life, something I love, and something I don’t want to give up. My day is constantly filled with thoughts of golf. The first thing I do when I get to work? I check out the GolfWRX Classifieds to see if anything interesting was posted since last night when I went to bed. Lunch break? I’ll check eBay for the golf-related items I’m watching. When I get home, I flip on the Golf Channel while I change out of my work clothes. It might not be healthy, but it’s my life, and like many of you, I’m OK with that.

The other thing I realized in that hour was that all of the people who have told me my life is like a sitcom were correct. I say this because, at one point, the thought crossed my mind to try to fake cry! At another point, I thought about making up a story about playing golf with my dad as a kid, the memories I had of it, blah blah blah. Somewhere in middle of all of that, I even contemplated acting as if I was having chest pains.

At the end of the day I didn’t do any of that. For the most part, I acted like an adult… sort of. To be clear, though, if you would have told me that any of those acts was a surefire way to end the conversation and keep my membership, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I know my acting skills suck and my wife can see right through them.

Her reason for wanting to quit was valid; it costs a lot of money. I can’t argue with that, because it’s true. I belong to one of the nicer country clubs in the area, and the golf course is the crown jewel. It hosts local qualifiers, USGA events, etc. and it’s less than 5 minutes from my house. It has a great practice facility with a full range, three practice greens, and a short game area. The fact that it is less than 5 minutes from my house is the cherry on top. When my wife looks at the club, she sees it as something standing between her and our next home-improvement project. After plenty of back and forth, we agreed that if I wanted to keep our membership, I had to come up with a way to offset some of the costs of the club.

After the conversation, I went straight to where I do my best work… well, the second-best place, which is my man cave/basement. My objective was clear; I had to come up with a way to make some money on the side, and I had to come up with it fast before my wife changed her mind. I did what any of us would do in this situation; I decided to hit some putts for a half hour to clear my head, and then I got started.

Since I’m a 7-handicap, turning pro was out of the question. I thought I could be a golf writer, but the life of a journalist isn’t for me. Then it hit me…. the thing where everyone thinks my life is a sitcom. That led me to the brilliant idea to share these stories and hope that I can somehow use them to help me keep my membership. I’m open to other ideas (or donations) if you got them.

To be honest, I don’t think my stories are out of the ordinary, but my co-workers and friends constantly tell me they are. Like the time my club-championship match went into a five-hole playoff and my wife had to go to a party by herself is a pretty good one.  Although the time I fell down the stairs while trying to sneak out of the house at 5 a.m. to play an early round is probably better.

The one my buddies enjoy is when I got caught putting fake calendar appointments in my wife’s phone that made us look busy on important days like Masters Sunday, the Ryder Cup, and my fantasy golf draft. To the say least, I have plenty of them, and her wanting to quit the club isn’t going away anytime soon. I’m sure that will lead to more. So I’m going to share all of the stories and see if it leads me to a way to keep my membership.

Wish me luck!

For feedback (or donations) please email me at [email protected]. You can also follow me on Twitter at @Joey_Ruggeri. 

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Joe Ruggeri is a former collegiate golfer from Missouri who is probably one of the most competitive guys you will ever meet. He describes his non-golf profession as "what he has to do so he can fund his golf habit." Twitter: @Joey_Ruggeri Email: [email protected] Youtube: coming soon

37 Comments

37 Comments

  1. nobody2u

    Oct 30, 2017 at 2:35 am

    What man would rather not want to spend more time at home. He gets a fresh list of honey do’s and told how bad of a husband he has been for spending time with friends that applaud good shots are not so cynical when you light a cigar or open a beer. If you do that at home and her mother should suddenly drop in, what a lovely time that is. Then you have all of the stuff on TV that you are getting to miss when you could be spending the afternoon with the understanding laughing friends and cart girls or the cute waitresses in the 19th hole that are willing to get whatever you want at your little hearts desire. I don’t know what man would give up that comradery among friends to be able to spend some quality time with the unpleasant person at home. Give her a little boost to either spend some time at the pool, you can charge drinks or other things at the pool, or send her shopping, she has a million options and yours should not be impeded.

  2. Lance

    Oct 20, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    Currently, I’m entertaining a golf widow/model/trophy wife while old hubby is obsessed with his golf handicap and spends his days on the course and nights in the clubhouse.
    My club also has tennis courts and I met her playing tennis and it started from then. She’s so happy now. Me too.

    • Da Judge

      Oct 22, 2017 at 9:55 pm

      Wife: “Golf course or inter course…. choose!”
      Hubby: “Uuuum ….. “

  3. Travis

    Oct 19, 2017 at 9:09 am

    I stopped reading this in the very beginning when you talked about “asking for permission” to go play golf… how about you get into a relationship where you two respect what each other wants to do.

    I’ve never once had to “ask permission” to go play golf, nor does she ever “ask permission” to do her hobbies. We respect that those hobbies are each others’ passions, and that’s that.

    Do you also “ask permission” to sleep in the bed again and not the couch in the living room? Pathetic.

  4. nobody2u

    Oct 18, 2017 at 4:40 pm

    Your bragging about adultery, I don’t know if you are religious or Catholic, but, condemning yourself to the crimes of the flesh, you may want to re think at what you think is funny. I am not a Holy person but I promise you if I came in my home and found you trying to get out the window, you better be ready to have that thing you spent the last few seconds with to land on top of your point little head. See many of those golf widows don’t walk away with everything the man has worked his whole life for, so you may be acquiring a sweat little thing in your endeavors. And yes that is from experience, still glad that little fella did me such a great favor, I got the house and the kids, guess whats she’s doing,,, but not with me.

    • Lance

      Oct 20, 2017 at 4:13 pm

      Bitter bitter golf dude…. and fyi, all the golf widows come to my pad to get what they don’t get from their golfing hubby who prefers to spend time with his equally impotent buddies on the golf course.
      A neglected woman will seek loving companionship wherever she can find it…. and they find me … and there are so many of them. Once a couple of them came to me for ……. you know.

  5. Bob

    Oct 18, 2017 at 11:57 am

    A simple divorce should cure your problems

    • Barry

      Oct 18, 2017 at 4:46 pm

      Only if you’ve been smart enough to hide your assets from your wife

  6. Busty McBoob

    Oct 18, 2017 at 10:55 am

    I still don’t get the reasons for marriage other than we’re trained from a very young age that marriage is just something you’re supposed to do in life. All my married friends bitch and moan about all the time about their wives not ‘letting them’ do stuff. Man up, take your (non golf) balls back and tell her you’re not quitting the country club.

    • Lance

      Oct 19, 2017 at 12:15 pm

      Such man golfers are perpetual children seeking pleasure on the golf course… while I get pleasure from their golf widows.

  7. Eldrick T

    Oct 18, 2017 at 3:38 am

    I thought I was at a country club in California but somehow I ended up in a ditch in armpit Florida

  8. Eldrick T

    Oct 18, 2017 at 3:37 am

    There was only one fire hydrant outside my house

  9. Ben Jones

    Oct 17, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    My wife loved the country club. Man I miss those days! Camelot, yes it was. Then we had to move to somewhere where the courses are semi-private. What does that mean? It means crowded course, lousy tee times, and a chopped up practice area. Worst of all, the range balls are dead and the practice bunker is in the shank zone. Man, I miss that time.

  10. 8thehardway

    Oct 17, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    I wrote on this subject a decade ago and will share my still-valid observations.

    Share your heartfelt disclosures with your wife and suggest marriage counseling. The USGA secretly maintains a list of marriage counselors, attorneys and judges ranked by handicap and Country Club affiliation so you will probably find a sympathetic ear in your neighborhood… just mention my user name.

    If things don’t go well buy a home in Myrtle Beach and move divorce proceedings there… all decisions invariably favor the golfer and that includes custodial issues; be sure to mention how much you’ll save employing your children as caddies rather than paying those outrageous cart fees.

    If you insist on staying domiciled in your present location and your wife isn’t employed, suggest the virtues of being a cart girl… the extra income, the opportunity to see more of you on weekends, saving money on mid-round snacks and how she can gather valuable information on whose new equipment purchases aren’t working out (handy to know for wagers or inexpensive purchases).

    Above all, maintain your handicap and a positive outlook… women come and go but golf courses tend to linger.

    • Lance

      Oct 19, 2017 at 12:13 pm

      I feast on golf widows….. and they feast on me!

  11. MS

    Oct 17, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    Donation… Sorry ain’t goint to happen. Not a member of a private club, never have been, probably never will be. Best I can do is season pass as a public course.

  12. Milo

    Oct 17, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    1st world problems

  13. AJ

    Oct 17, 2017 at 12:56 am

    keep the club but she will be gone. Shes giving you an out take it from experience

    • Lance

      Oct 18, 2017 at 12:20 pm

      Golf widows are primed for nookie. I know.

  14. Judge Smeills

    Oct 16, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    Its not about the money, she just mentioned money because its better than saying that she hates golf and the amount of time you spend playing.

    • Lance

      Oct 20, 2017 at 4:16 pm

      Golf widows that I know well never complain about the time hubby spends at the country club …. and in fact encourages him to go play with the boys….. and then there’s me waiting and not for long ….lol

  15. Bullsfan

    Oct 16, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    Been there and done that. Where did it get me, Divorced and on the hook for 20yrs. I get where you are coming from, I too am a lifelong golfer who has played collegiately and come from a long line of family golfers. It’s not a hobby, it truly is a life. I may not play or run a country club as my main source of employment, but for me and my family it’s the same. I was a member for 11 years at one of the most prestigious courses in my area, only 250 members and most had the money to buy 3rd world countries. So when the time came, 2007-08, in the middle of the downturn I had to give up my membership. Now other things happened personally and professionally that led to my divorce, but not being a member at my club anymore didn’t help my issues. Life hit hard and I had to reevaluate my life and what was important. Now today I have rebounded well, gainfully employed in my chosen field and remarried happily and fittingly enough live in a new home right across the street from a country club my parents were members at when I was growing up, but I haven’t joined! Would I like too, sure, but my lessons learned from my past is, it’s not the right time. I still play golf once, twice a week. I have friends all over my area who are either members or work at various clubs that I play with and for those times I’m not playing with them I pay my $30 and head out somewhere else and get my fix. What I’m saying is it’s not all that bad not having a membership. Would it be nice, sure. But there are other ways to play and enjoy tournaments and competition. You may want to look into these before your better half decides to do it for you.

    • sanjay

      Oct 16, 2017 at 8:01 pm

      $30?? A muni is not a country club….

      • CrashTestDummy

        Oct 17, 2017 at 2:21 am

        I have played a lot at both country clubs and public golf courses. Generally the shape of courses at country clubs are in better shape (especially the greens and bunkers). However, many public tracks are just as good if not better tracks that country clubs. You can still play good courses for 30-50 bucks in my area and really good courses for 60-80 bucks. Only a few are munis. Munis are not bad if the greens are decent and a decent track. You still have to hit good shots and play golf.

  16. Steve

    Oct 16, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    Divorce her before you have children and you’re on her hook for 20 years.

  17. Acemandrake

    Oct 16, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    “We already have three.”

  18. sanjay

    Oct 16, 2017 at 3:23 pm

    Methinks you are misreading your wife’s suggestion to quit the country club. Perhaps her motives are justifiably selfish.
    When she says: “I think we should quit the country club.”….. she may be telling you she wants you to spend more quality time with her than with your buddies, playing 36 holes and then coming home and telling her “I’m too tired for that… maybe tomorrow.”
    The problem is that within most adult men there is a child who wants to play, for the pleasure… and with other men. Your fine wife is sending you a signal that everything is not fine with her because you want to play games rather than tending to her needs. Ya think…?!!

    • Mower

      Oct 16, 2017 at 7:28 pm

      Yep. It’s psychological jiu-jitsu. They’re trained from a very young age.

    • Lance

      Oct 18, 2017 at 12:16 pm

      I search out such golf widows and they are starved for companionship. Me like ….

  19. ray arcade

    Oct 16, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    And here I always thought it was “…you’re still away”.

    • sanjay

      Oct 16, 2017 at 3:27 pm

      Nice…. but women become gregarious when ignored and neglected for too long. In that case “…you’re still away” may be her opportunity to find pleasant companionship.

      • AW

        Oct 16, 2017 at 5:04 pm

        Maybe that’s the best solution if he can keep the membership. 🙂

        • sanjay

          Oct 16, 2017 at 7:59 pm

          Men who eschew sex for golf are …. well, you know…. the majority ….!

      • Lance

        Oct 18, 2017 at 12:18 pm

        Yup, I’ve had ‘companionship’ with many a golf widow.

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19th Hole

Vincenzi’s 2024 Zurich Classic of New Orleans betting preview

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The PGA TOUR heads to New Orleans to play the 2023 Zurich Classic of New Orleans. In a welcome change from the usual stroke play, the Zurich Classic is a team event. On Thursday and Saturday, the teams play best ball, and on Friday and Sunday the teams play alternate shot.

TPC Louisiana is a par 72 that measures 7,425 yards. The course features some short par 4s and plenty of water and bunkers, which makes for a lot of exciting risk/reward scenarios for competitors. Pete Dye designed the course in 2004 specifically for the Zurich Classic, although the event didn’t make its debut until 2007 because of Hurricane Katrina.

Coming off of the Masters and a signature event in consecutive weeks, the field this week is a step down, and understandably so. Many of the world’s top players will be using this time to rest after a busy stretch.

However, there are some interesting teams this season with some stars making surprise appearances in the team event. Some notable teams include Patrick Cantlay and Xander Schauffele, Rory McIlroy and Shane Lowry, Collin Morikawa and Kurt Kitayama, Will Zalatoris and Sahith Theegala as well as a few Canadian teams, Nick Taylor and Adam Hadwin and Taylor Pendrith and Corey Conners.

Past Winners at TPC Louisiana

  • 2023: Riley/Hardy (-30)
  • 2022: Cantlay/Schauffele (-29)
  • 2021: Leishman/Smith (-20)
  • 2019: Palmer/Rahm (-26)
  • 2018: Horschel/Piercy (-22)
  • 2017: Blixt/Smith (-27)

2024 Zurich Classic of New Orleans Picks

Tom Hoge/Maverick McNealy +2500 (DraftKings)

Tom Hoge is coming off of a solid T18 finish at the RBC Heritage and finished T13 at last year’s Zurich Classic alongside Harris English.

This season, Hoge is having one of his best years on Tour in terms of Strokes Gained: Approach. In his last 24 rounds, the only player to top him on the category is Scottie Scheffler. Hoge has been solid on Pete Dye designs, ranking 28th in the field over his past 36 rounds.

McNealy is also having a solid season. He’s finished T6 at the Waste Management Phoenix Open and T9 at the PLAYERS Championship. He recently started working with world renowned swing coach, Butch Harmon, and its seemingly paid dividends in 2024.

Keith Mitchell/Joel Dahmen +4000 (DraftKings)

Keith Mitchell is having a fantastic season, finishing in the top-20 of five of his past seven starts on Tour. Most recently, Mitchell finished T14 at the Valero Texas Open and gained a whopping 6.0 strokes off the tee. He finished 6th at last year’s Zurich Classic.

Joel Dahmen is having a resurgent year and has been dialed in with his irons. He also has a T11 finish at the PLAYERS Championship at TPC Sawgrass which is another Pete Dye track. With Mitchell’s length and Dahmen’s ability to put it close with his short irons, the Mitchell/Dahmen combination will be dangerous this week.

Taylor Moore/Matt NeSmith +6500 (DraftKings)

Taylor Moore has quickly developed into one of the more consistent players on Tour. He’s finished in the top-20 in three of his past four starts, including a very impressive showing at The Masters, finishing T20. He’s also finished T4 at this event in consecutive seasons alongside Matt NeSmith.

NeSmith isn’t having a great 2024, but has seemed to elevate his game in this format. He finished T26 at Pete Dye’s TPC Sawgrass, which gives the 30-year-old something to build off of. NeSmith is also a great putter on Bermudagrass, which could help elevate Moore’s ball striking prowess.

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19th Hole

Vincenzi’s 2024 LIV Adelaide betting preview: Cam Smith ready for big week down under

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After having four of the top twelve players on the leaderboard at The Masters, LIV Golf is set for their fifth event of the season: LIV Adelaide. 

For both LIV fans and golf fans in Australia, LIV Adelaide is one of the most anticipated events of the year. With 35,000 people expected to attend each day of the tournament, the Grange Golf Club will be crawling with fans who are passionate about the sport of golf. The 12th hole, better known as “the watering hole”, is sure to have the rowdiest of the fans cheering after a long day of drinking some Leishman Lager.  

The Grange Golf Club is a par-72 that measures 6,946 yards. The course features minimal resistance, as golfers went extremely low last season. In 2023, Talor Gooch shot consecutive rounds of 62 on Thursday and Friday, giving himself a gigantic cushion heading into championship Sunday. Things got tight for a while, but in the end, the Oklahoma State product was able to hold off The Crushers’ Anirban Lahiri for a three-shot victory. 

The Four Aces won the team competition with the Range Goats finishing second. 

*All Images Courtesy of LIV Golf*

Past Winners at LIV Adelaide

  • 2023: Talor Gooch (-19)

Stat Leaders Through LIV Miami

Green in Regulation

  1. Richard Bland
  2. Jon Rahm
  3. Paul Casey

Fairways Hit

  1. Abraham Ancer
  2. Graeme McDowell
  3. Henrik Stenson

Driving Distance

  1. Bryson DeChambeau
  2. Joaquin Niemann
  3. Dean Burmester

Putting

  1. Cameron Smith
  2. Louis Oosthuizen
  3. Matt Jones

2024 LIV Adelaide Picks

Cameron Smith +1400 (DraftKings)

When I pulled up the odds for LIV Adelaide, I was more than a little surprised to see multiple golfers listed ahead of Cameron Smith on the betting board. A few starts ago, Cam finished runner-up at LIV Hong Kong, which is a golf course that absolutely suits his eye. Augusta National in another course that Smith could roll out of bed and finish in the top-ten at, and he did so two weeks ago at The Masters, finishing T6.

At Augusta, he gained strokes on the field on approach, off the tee (slightly), and of course, around the green and putting. Smith able to get in the mix at a major championship despite coming into the week feeling under the weather tells me that his game is once again rounding into form.

The Grange Golf Club is another course that undoubtedly suits the Australian. Smith is obviously incredibly comfortable playing in front of the Aussie faithful and has won three Australian PGA Championship’s. The course is very short and will allow Smith to play conservative off the tee, mitigating his most glaring weakness. With birdies available all over the golf course, there’s a chance the event turns into a putting contest, and there’s no one on the planet I’d rather have in one of those than Cam Smith.

Louis Oosthuizen +2200 (DraftKings)

Louis Oosthuizen has simply been one of the best players on LIV in the 2024 seas0n. The South African has finished in the top-10 on the LIV leaderboard in three of his five starts, with his best coming in Jeddah, where he finished T2. Perhaps more impressively, Oosthuizen finished T7 at LIV Miami, which took place at Doral’s “Blue Monster”, an absolutely massive golf course. Given that Louis is on the shorter side in terms of distance off the tee, his ability to play well in Miami shows how dialed he is with the irons this season.

In addition to the LIV finishes, Oosthuizen won back-to-back starts on the DP World Tour in December at the Alfred Dunhill Championship and the Mauritus Open. He also finished runner-up at the end of February in the International Series Oman. The 41-year-old has been one of the most consistent performers of 2024, regardless of tour.

For the season, Louis ranks 4th on LIV in birdies made, T9 in fairways hit and first in putting. He ranks 32nd in driving distance, but that won’t be an issue at this short course. Last season, he finished T11 at the event, but was in decent position going into the final round but fell back after shooting 70 while the rest of the field went low. This season, Oosthuizen comes into the event in peak form, and the course should be a perfect fit for his smooth swing and hot putter this week.

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Opinion & Analysis

The Wedge Guy: What really makes a wedge work? Part 1

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Of all the clubs in our bags, wedges are almost always the simplest in construction and, therefore, the easiest to analyze what might make one work differently from another if you know what to look for.

Wedges are a lot less mysterious than drivers, of course, as the major brands are working with a lot of “pixie dust” inside these modern marvels. That’s carrying over more to irons now, with so many new models featuring internal multi-material technologies, and almost all of them having a “badge” or insert in the back to allow more complex graphics while hiding the actual distribution of mass.

But when it comes to wedges, most on the market today are still single pieces of molded steel, either cast or forged into that shape. So, if you look closely at where the mass is distributed, it’s pretty clear how that wedge is going to perform.

To start, because of their wider soles, the majority of the mass of almost any wedge is along the bottom third of the clubhead. So, the best wedge shots are always those hit between the 2nd and 5th grooves so that more mass is directly behind that impact. Elite tour professionals practice incessantly to learn to do that consistently, wearing out a spot about the size of a penny right there. If impact moves higher than that, the face is dramatically thinner, so smash factor is compromised significantly, which reduces the overall distance the ball will fly.

Every one of us, tour players included, knows that maddening shot that we feel a bit high on the face and it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s not your fault.

If your wedges show a wear pattern the size of a silver dollar, and centered above the 3rd or 4th groove, you are not getting anywhere near the same performance from shot to shot. Robot testing proves impact even two to three grooves higher in the face can cause distance loss of up to 35 to 55 feet with modern ‘tour design’ wedges.

In addition, as impact moves above the center of mass, the golf club principle of gear effect causes the ball to fly higher with less spin. Think of modern drivers for a minute. The “holy grail” of driving is high launch and low spin, and the driver engineers are pulling out all stops to get the mass as low in the clubhead as possible to optimize this combination.

Where is all the mass in your wedges? Low. So, disregarding the higher lofts, wedges “want” to launch the ball high with low spin – exactly the opposite of what good wedge play requires penetrating ball flight with high spin.

While almost all major brand wedges have begun putting a tiny bit more thickness in the top portion of the clubhead, conventional and modern ‘tour design’ wedges perform pretty much like they always have. Elite players learn to hit those crisp, spinny penetrating wedge shots by spending lots of practice time learning to consistently make contact low in the face.

So, what about grooves and face texture?

Grooves on any club can only do so much, and no one has any material advantage here. The USGA tightly defines what we manufacturers can do with grooves and face texture, and modern manufacturing techniques allow all of us to push those limits ever closer. And we all do. End of story.

Then there’s the topic of bounce and grinds, the most complex and confusing part of the wedge formula. Many top brands offer a complex array of sole configurations, all of them admittedly specialized to a particular kind of lie or turf conditions, and/or a particular divot pattern.

But if you don’t play the same turf all the time, and make the same size divot on every swing, how would you ever figure this out?

The only way is to take any wedge you are considering and play it a few rounds, hitting all the shots you face and observing the results. There’s simply no other way.

So, hopefully this will inspire a lively conversation in our comments section, and I’ll chime in to answer any questions you might have.

And next week, I’ll dive into the rest of the wedge formula. Yes, shafts, grips and specifications are essential, too.

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