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The secret to golf happiness? Put enjoyment ahead of achievement

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Sometimes things get fuzzy in golf and a reset is exactly what you need.

Very often my phone will ring, or I’ll get an “emergency” text and a player-client will be in a funk. Their focus unconsciously shifts to the many distractions around them. It’s often about things they have no control over. They’re worried about an outcome, their enjoyment disappears, everything seems difficult and the game becomes tedious. This starts the inevitable downward spiral.

In my business, it’s all about achievement — reaching higher and getting to the next level. If I don’t generate the results for a client, and help them find the potential within themselves, I’m out of a job. And, that’s the way it should be. I’m in the high-performance business and performers want results.

The tricky part here is that, humorously enough, focusing on the achievement is not the best way to go about elevating achievement.

In order to get to a high level of performance and reach set goals, there are two primary areas that are important to elevate performance and sustain it. I always refer to enjoyment as the first cog in the wheel and achievement as the second cog. The order is quite important because enjoyment is always a key to sustainable high performance. Can you succeed without it? Yes, for a short period. But, over time, when enjoyment is not at the center of performance, I get the call like the one I mentioned above.

From a young age, many golfers pursue achievement so aggressively and persistently that they actually forget about the enjoyment part. They assume that if they seek achievement — and get it — enjoyment will just follow automatically, but it’s not quite that simple.

I was a direct victim of the enjoyment vs achievement phenomena when I played professional golf. I would practice as hard and long as I could to get better, continually pursuing golf perfection that I thought was needed to play professional golf, and I slowly slipped into a state of misery, not knowing that enjoyment might be important in having a sustainable professional golf career. In retrospect, if I focused more on seeking enjoyment in the game and really enjoyed the journey, and put a central focus on the real reason why I was playing the game (because I loved it and it was fun) and created a plan around that, my career results may have been significantly different. I blindly pursued achievement, but forgot about enjoyment.

So what does that mean for you?

You might consider your perspective of enjoyment and achievement and try shifting the enjoyment to the forefront of your golf experience — no matter what your level. Think about why you play. Is it to enjoy the game or achieve something, or both? For almost all of us it is both. If it is for you, remember the order of importance; enjoyment will support achievement, not the other way around. Making enjoyment a priority will help you in your pursuit of achievement and reaching your potential in the game. Putting achievement first may not help you maximize your golf experience and could put you on a path where your original purpose (your love of the game) may get lost in the shuffle.

So, go ahead and achieve something in the game. Have a plan, work hard and make progress. But don’t lose sight of enjoying the game and your purpose for playing it. If you focus on this balance, sustainable achievement will be possible and you’ll maximize your time in the game.

This is transferable to everything you do. The more you enjoy something, often the better and more consistent you’ll be!

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John Haime is the President of New Edge Performance. He's a Human Performance Coach who prepares performers to be the their best by helping them tap into the elusive 10 percent of their abilities that will get them to the top. This is something that anyone with a goal craves, and John Haime knows how to get performers there. John closes the gap for performers in sports and business by taking them from where they currently are to where they want to go.  The best in the world trust John. They choose him because he doesn’t just talk about the world of high performance – he has lived it and lives in it everyday. He is a former Tournament Professional Golfer with professional wins. He has a best-selling book, “You are a Contender,” which is widely read by world-class athletes, coaches and business performers.  He has worked around the globe for some of the world’s leading companies. Athlete clients include performers who regularly rank in the Top-50 in their respective sports. John has the rare ability to work as seamlessly in the world of professional sports as he does in the world of corporate performance. His primary ambition writing for GolfWRX is to help you become the golfer you'd like to be. See www.johnhaime.com for more. Email: john@newedgeperformance.org

10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. more than one way to skin a cat.....

    Apr 21, 2016 at 9:30 pm

    Your not shooting the lowest round of your life, try to shoot the best you have ever on the next hole. Or play for good shots and take score outta mental equation if not for money or in tourney. Don’t beat yourself up! Botttom line, you’re on the course. Many others aren’t that wish they could be, and are not for one reason or another. I’m never going on the tour. My index is there for a reference in competitive golf matches. In the end, we all play good sometimes, and bad sometimes. Your golfing, find enjoyment somewhere while at what I consider my home away from home. There is always a way to make it fun, may be the worst round you ever had, but if you keep playing that may be the day your scorecard showing all of your 3-putts, has a hole-in-one is hanging in the proshop proving to you and others you should never give up or let it get to you.

  2. digitalbroccoli

    Apr 21, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    If you can’t laugh at you own bad shots, you’re playing for the wrong reasons. Until we start making a living shooting lower scores, just enjoy the game.

    • John Haime

      Apr 21, 2016 at 5:15 pm

      Hi DB …

      Professionals also need to pay attention to the enjoyment. Perspective can spiral quickly if priorities are not in the right order. This really does apply as much to those making a living playing golf.

      Thanks for the comment!

  3. MRC

    Apr 20, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    Enjoyed your article John. Eight months ago I set a goal to lower my index the best way I knew how to….Hard work and dedication. In three months, my index went from an eight to a five.
    I was on on cloud 9 so I thought. To play golf consistently at this level wasn’t going to happen. I found myself getting upset on the course rather than enjoying my time playing golf. The fun dried up and I wanted to quite playing this awful time consuming sport. Your article put everything into perspective. I’m playing tomorrow and putting enjoyment ahead of achievement!
    Thanks again!

    • John Haime

      Apr 21, 2016 at 9:52 am

      Great comment and I think alot of people feel the same way MRC. Congrats on the drop of the index – but that can be challenging when more time and effort is required to keep getting better. We’re all trying to achieve and get better – but I think the message of the article – putting enjoyment first – insures people will maximize their time in the game, stay with it and improve their level of play with a great attitude toward their game. If the fun dries up, time to change something!

  4. Shallowface

    Apr 20, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Agree. There is NOTHING enjoyable about bad golf.

  5. Headcase

    Apr 20, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    Actually, this article makes perfect sense. Normally when I hit a few bad shots, the wheels come off the bus and I’ve got no way to right the ship (mixing metaphors, but you get the point). It’s a vicious circle; I’m unhappy with my play which leads to more bad shots, which leads to more unhappiness, etc

    I was fortunate enough to play TPC Sawgrass last Sunday. It was a thoroughly enjoyable round, despite the howling wind. I hit a series of pretty loose shots early on the back 9, but was able to convince myself that it was a nice day and a nice course (in pretty good condition, but not quite ready for primetime yet). After a few holes that were trending the wrong direction, I took a few deep breaths, reminded myself that it’s a good day and a fun game. I even managed to play the 3 finishing holes in 1 over (pretty good, for me!).

  6. timbleking

    Apr 20, 2016 at 1:18 am

    What if your enjoyment IS actually achievement while playing golf?

    • John Haime

      Apr 20, 2016 at 1:45 pm

      This is a big problem with many golfers. If they don’t achieve what they expect – they don’t enjoy themselves. Fine to enjoy and appreciate good play – but carefully prioritize enjoyment and achievement. As you know, you won’t play well everyday – and hit alot of bad shots – so enjoy the journey – good and bad – reflect – and keep building your game.

  7. rory

    Apr 19, 2016 at 8:34 pm

    why not enjoy it anyways….or sell your clubs and stop playin cause obviously you missed every point Haime made…..ijs

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Check out the full podcast on SoundCloud below, or click here to listen on iTunes or here to listen on Spotify.

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In the first episode of “The Disruptors,” GolfWRX’s new video series with PXG, Johnny Wunder sits down with company founder Bob Parsons for an in-depth talk about Parsons’ background and got into the golf equipment business.

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The Bob I know

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I’ll start by saying this: Bob Parsons has a stigma attached to him. With every move he makes or idea he pushes, many people think: Rich guy. No perspective. Who does he think he is?

I also need to say this (whether you believe it or not): This is not a puff piece. This is my honest perspective as I have experienced. Until 30 days ago, I didn’t have one PXG club in my bag and have never been given favor from PXG to “make them look good.”

OK, that’s out of the way, so you know what isn’t the motivation here. The motivation is to describe my relationship with Bob, so the golf community knows exactly who he is, why he is so important, and why we don’t want him to ever go away.

I first met Bob Parsons on December 11th, 2007 on the set of the first commercial I ever booked as an actor. It was for GoDaddy.com, and it was a Super Bowl ad that was later banned and became a “cult classic” for years to come. On the set of that commercial, Bob showed up before principal photography began and walked up to every person on that set (100 people) and personally introduced himself and thanked them for the hard work. When I met and I told him my name, he said in a way only Bob can, “Johnny Wunder!? I’ll never forget that name, that’s a no brainer.”

Fast forward to March of 2018 and PXG’s initial launch of the GEN2 irons. Before our interview was set up, I was reintroduced to him, and he said “Johnny Wunder!? THE Johnny Wunder? I know that name. We have met. I never forget a name.” I explained how we met and he started to laugh, “I may forget a face, Johnny, but I’d never forget a name like that.”

Since then, I have interviewed Bob four times and been his guest during product launches. NOBODY does hospitality like Bob. NOBODY. You are inside the bubble, and you are well taken care of but also respected to the utmost degree. He understands the job we in the media have and will give you everything he can to make the experience worthwhile. Yes, Bob has a larger-than-life on-camera persona. It’s big, funny, gregarious, and to some, intimidating. Bob off camera is a bit of a different thing. He’s a thoughtful, quiet man that will ask about your kids far before he asks what you think about his products.

I recall a morning he called me personally to ask me a question, it was a Saturday, if memory serves, and when I picked up the phone and realized it was him, I had to kind of laugh. Not at him but at his first few comments

  1. Apologized for interrupting my family’s Saturday morning
  2. Asked how my family was doing and if the kids were fans of golf
  3. Asked how I was doing beyond work and what I was planning for the rest of the year

These were real questions from a man that REALLY cares. Care is the key word here. I’ll get to that in a moment. After the call was done, he thanked me and wanted to make sure I told my wife that he apologized for stealing me away (if only for a few minutes) from my family on a Saturday morning.

This is not Bob selling me. This is Bob.

The message here is that Bob cares, immensely, about improving the conditions of those he can. Yes his clubs are expensive. Get past that. Yes he has a ton of cash. Get past that. Yes his persona is BIG. Get past that. He spun the industry on its head by introducing and selling clubs that were “too expensive.” “He will never make it” was something I hear a lot. Well that idea is now put to bed as PXG, leading with its strong chin, made it OK to spend a lot of money on golf clubs. He paved the way for bespoke companies like Artisan, Tyson Lamb, National Custom Works to charge premium prices for custom gear. I think any gearhead on GolfWRX could find a way to be thankful for that one…just for the Instagram pictures alone.

The interview accompanying this article will give you just a glimpse as to who Bob really is. He came from nothing. He built this. He dug it outta the dirt. He is the American Dream walking and talking. No one gave him anything. In this day and age, I honor that narrative. I respect the hell out of it, and I want my kids to see men and woman like this.

It’s the real “meat on the table” that Bob has. You can’t learn this in school, you have to learn it by trying and failing A LOT. PXG is something he built. He didn’t hire smart people to do his bidding, he hired smart people to learn from and get in the mud with. PXG clubs are the product of that collaboration. PXG clubs are not Bob, but they are a symbol of how much this guy cares about doing things differently. He’s a disruptor. He cares. That’s all that matters.

I hope you see what I see. Enjoy the interview.

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