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Carry on: Tour caddies make the right move in organizing APTC

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So this is what happens when they cancel the caddie races. Many of the most high-profile caddies in professional golf, as well as members of the rank and file, have banded together to form the Association of Professional Tour Caddies (APTC) in order to create both a unified voice and lobby.

Now, before you say, “These guys get paid hundred of thousands of dollars to carry a bag,” it’s important to remember that professional caddies do much more than merely hand a player his/her club; they are vital to the success of professional golfers.

One of the best brief summaries of the roles caddie play beyond charting courses, giving yardages, and carrying bags was written by Larry Dorman in the New York Times during the course of the Tiger Woods-Steve Williams split:

“[Caddies] are traffic cops, psychiatrists and meteorologists. They are chauffeurs, butlers, and bodyguards, buddies, sidekicks and frequent dinner companions. When things get really tough, they are guard dogs, attack dogs.”

The “dogs” are often not treated with the same level of respect by tournament hosts and venues as players.

At The Barclays, according to APTC President James Edmondson, the following occurred during a rain delay:

“A security guy came in, started berating us, asking to see everyone’s ID, and then began kicking out our families into the rain. We all thought, ‘Would they ever do this to the players in their area?’ That’s when we decided to have a meeting.”

The result of that meeting, attended by half of the caddies looping in New York that week: a unanimous vote to become an association. The group hired the law firm of Barlow, Garsek & Simon to represent them and established a board of caddies, which includes Tiger Woods’ caddie, Joe LaCava.

As Christian Dennie, an attorney for the caddies said:

The caddies play an instrumental role in the success of tour players and the success of professional golf. In an effort to further their profession, caddies have united to provide more information about their role in professional golf and obtain group benefits that will allow them to have retirement accounts and health care like many Americans who watch golf each week.

Standard pay for a caddie on the PGA Tour is a $1,000 a week plus 5-to-10 percent of a player’s winnings. Sure, if you’re Joe LaCava, Steve Williams, Fluff Cowan, or Bones Mackay, maybe you’re making close to seven figures. But what if you’re carrying a bag for Ken Duke, 50th on the PGA Tour money list at $1,722,583, making 5-to-10 percent of that number plus $1000 a week? Or Casey Wittenberg, 150th on the money list at $425,395?

Carrying a bag on tour beats the proverbial burger flipping from a financial point of view to be sure, but what of benefits, health insurance, retirement accounts, etc? As caddies aren’t formally employed by the Tour, they aren’t recipients of standard benefits afforded to employees of a large, immensely profitable organization.

It’s appropriate to remember, too, that prior to Walter Hagen’s 1920 Open Championship dressing-in-his-limousine stunt (and the succeeding U.S. Open), touring pros weren’t even permitted to change in the host club’s locker room. Beyond this specific formal barrier, the men placing pegs in the ground were generally treated more like traveling circus performers than revered athletes.

The PGA Tour itself—which, among many other things, contributed to reversing the above—was only formed in the late 1960 as money from television contracts began to pour into the pockets of the PGA of America. It was at this point that those entertaining Americans on the fairways collectively stood up and said they felt they ought to rewarded appropriately for their efforts.

Professional caddies are faced with a similar situation today: needing to formally legitimize a profession that has evolved and become quite legitimate in significant ways but hasn’t in equally significant others.

Long gone are the days of a pro picking the local caddie from the pit to schlep his bag for the week. It’s time for professional tour caddies to be appropriately organized and represented, and the APTC is the right move.

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30 Comments

30 Comments

  1. Albert Sewill

    Nov 20, 2013 at 9:22 am

    It was only a matter of time before this happened! The modern caddy is very under-appreciated.

  2. What a stupid I am!

    Nov 13, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    From Golf Digest’s September 2012 issue:

    A FEW PROS make the tour an all-day, everyday job. For all the money in the world I couldn’t work for Vijay Singh. It would drive me crazy to stand there and watch a guy hit 7,000 golf balls a day–I couldn’t have watched Ben Hogan hit 7,000 golf balls a day. Paul Tesori is a former tour player who worked for Vijay until Vijay called him one Christmas morning to see if he wanted to meet at the range. Paul said working 366 days a year was a bit much. He’s now working closely with Webb Simpson.

    http://www.golfdigest.com/magazine/2012-09/mark-long-stories#ixzz2kaUtNCS5

  3. jeev

    Nov 11, 2013 at 11:21 am

    Mods! I see a politically charged post that should be edited/removed!

  4. snowman0157

    Nov 10, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    ok, no offense.. it is low-skilled labor. So if they choose to caddie, travel a lot, work on commission and pay their own expenses, for 50K / yr gross, god bless ’em. They probably like the lifestyle. If not, get another skill and stay home. Nobody owes nobody a certain standard of living.

  5. Enabler

    Nov 8, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    Caddy can make a huge impact on the performance of the player. The role of the touring caddy is much like coaching and staff for other sports. Anyone who travels 30 weeks a year no matter the perks sacrifices traditional life relationships with children and family. The PGA should evaluate the situation and offer up recognition to the profession and their role in the tour. Appears it is another example of squeaky wheel gets oil… This organization should help the profession. It is past time the members of the PGA recognizes the touring caddy significance to this sport.

  6. AJ

    Nov 8, 2013 at 9:33 am

    Just a fairly amusing note regarding caddies – one of the guys at my club (Scottish fella) is good mates with Alistair McLean, tour caddie to Colin Montgomerie for a number of years.

    Regarding the ‘hiring and firing’ process, Alistair recently worked for Henrik Stenson (post Monty, after Fanny retired) and effectively ‘sacked’ Stenson because he wasn’t playing well enough.

    Safe to say a couple of years after that sacking, he regrets the move!

  7. CWA

    Nov 7, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    CWA!!!!!

  8. Mike M

    Nov 7, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    I think this is great for the caddies, its going to help them a lot with their careers. i don’t think its right that ernie els has a caddie becomes friends with dan quinn and then drops his regular caddie… contracts contracts contracts !

    • rB

      Nov 11, 2013 at 6:52 pm

      AJ, I have known EE for 20 years and RR during that span..
      … there is aLOT more to their history than Ernie meeting DQ.!!
      Sometimes change is a good thing..

  9. Unbelievable!

    Nov 7, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    There are MASSIVE amounts of people who work WAY harder for a lot less. All of you guys saying 50,000 a year isn’t a lot of money… It’s about 900 a week….

    That’s 22.50 an hour for a 40 hour job.

    50,000 is probably above average pay for entry level management in most major corporations….

    That’s average pay for Electricians… Plumbers… Framers…

    It’s more than most Teachers, Fireman, Police Officers… Public Defenders and Prosecuters…

    Poor, sad, underpaid little caddie….

    It’s great they banded together to help improve their lives… Bravo… It truly is needed and deserved… However… Stop complaining about the money…. You know what that is…

    Pathetic.

    • Bobcat43

      Nov 8, 2013 at 8:44 pm

      I for one wouldn’t want to be on the road for 25-30+ weeks a year for $50k and deal with a Tour Pro’s every whim. When I was fresh out of college I was making far more than that for being on the road that much (back in the 90’s, and it wasn’t management). But obviously someone wants that job. And someone always will want that job.

      But I will say that if Bones, Fluff or (insert any tour caddy) decide to price themselves out of the market. That’s their decision. I don’t watch professional golf to see them huck a bag and pitch grass in the air. Not to belittle their job, but someone will do their job and those great players will still be great.

      And I cannot stress this point enough… the PGA TOUR is the players (not their caddies). Joe Lacava may be cool but he’s not the “Golden Goose”. Will Tiger have to cross a picket line on the first tee? No.

      When a minority share partner tries to force the majority share partner to act, it will go poorly for the minority share partner. Frankly, below average tour caddies just like below average tour players should make less less (relatively speaking). It keeps the ranks fresh and the competition strong.

  10. john flavia

    Nov 7, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    This has started me thinking in another way.

    The touring pro’s have it pretty good, I’ve read how their retirement packages are second to none, certainly the NFL, NBA, MLB doesn’t even compare (something like $10,000 gets added to their retirement accounts for every tournament they make the cut?). The PGA just announced they have raised the PGA Championship purse to $10 mill, the most of any tournament/major and has recently been boasting about $1 billion for charity raised. So you’re telling me that you have done nothing in all this time for the working man of the industry, the caddy?, to improve them?

    • Wyatt

      Nov 9, 2013 at 8:25 am

      They work more then 40hour a week. Plus has to pay all of their own expenses… You guys do not know the facts unless you are in the profession. Quit JUDGING. The PGA DOES NOTHING for the caddies at all no retirement either… The player if “vested” will retire a millionaire because they get money from the PGA… No where does the caddies get any of this…

  11. Ralph

    Nov 7, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    Ah the dark side of professional golf. Good for them for trying to improve their lot in life.
    Professional golfers are independent contractors. Just as the caddies ultimately are. One can fire the other at a moments notice with no forewarning.
    They’d better be careful for what they wish.
    I foresee the day when local yokels once again come back into the caddy game. The day will come when the pro tours allow GPS and lasers during play. Might be a while.

  12. Bobcat43

    Nov 7, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Real quick… Are these guys forced into this job? Seems to me that schlepping a bag for Casey Whittenburg for $48k/yr is a crappy job. But I don’t think Casey puts a gun to anyone’s head either. But that’s my opinion there maybe someone who would do that job for free.

    So either find a better player, negotiate better or just find a better job. As for the issues with kicking family members out into the rain. I’m sure that can be fixed or maybe there is another side to the story. Not sure we need to call in Richard Trumka.

    Oh and health benefits! Really are you guys serious? Our Gov’t has already fixed that problem! Just like everything it will be free for all of us! (insert sarcastic smiley here)

    So if being a Tour Caddy is such a crappy job why the heck would anyone ever do it?

  13. GolferX

    Nov 7, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    I think its a great step forward for the caddies; there is an awful lot of money being made on the PGA Tour and its time for the caddies to get some security. However, that begs the question, who pays? If they get benefits, who pays? The Tour? That particular caddie’s player?
    What happens when your player retires or moves on? What about the other Tours? We will have to see how this shakes out.
    Fairways and Greens, my friends.

  14. Double Mocha Man

    Nov 7, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    When I was a caddie I made a whopping $10 a bag and scored a Snickers candy bar at the turn if I was lucky.

    • Jon

      Nov 7, 2013 at 1:54 pm

      Congrats, Mocha Man. That’s quite a bit for someone who wants somebody to feel sorry for them.

  15. Eric

    Nov 7, 2013 at 11:56 am

    breaking down the numbers.

    Ken Duke – 28 events, $1,722,583.73 in winnings in 2013
    Ken Duke’s caddie (if $1K per week, 5% for any winnings, 7% of top 10, and 10% for a win) – $172,377.14

    Take into account that he is on the road 28 weeks a year on his own dime which probably cost him $30K-$40. That means his takehome is about $135K before taxes. Yes, this is still a lot of money, but not for the top 50 in his profession for the year. And $135K is nowhere near a “fortune”.

    • Ken

      Nov 7, 2013 at 12:30 pm

      I think you are forgetting about one crucial item…endorsements

  16. john flavia

    Nov 7, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Also, when you make your calculations, remember most tour players probably only play 25 tournaments = 25 weeks, so if you use the Casey Whittenburg as the example: 2013 season = 27 tournaments & $425,395 in winnings, so at $1,000/week + 5% = $27,000 + $21,270 = 48,270.
    The question of ‘who pays for caddy’s expenses’? will be a big part in determining if that is a decent salary for caddy for a low ranking tour player or not.

    • Wyatt

      Nov 9, 2013 at 8:31 am

      Caddies are responsible for all their own expenses. Ie: flight, hotel, food, car, gas… Etc… They are also responsible for their own insurance.. Ie: single plan $250-$500, family $500-$2000 A MONTH! Again know your facts quite speculating.

  17. Zak Kozuchowski

    Nov 7, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Don’t forget the costs, guys. Just like tour players, caddies pay their own travel expenses.

  18. Evan

    Nov 7, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I completely agree with David here. If you are Ken Duke’s Caddy and making the lower 5%, you are still clearing $100k/year. if its 10%, go ahead and bump that to around $200k a year.

  19. David

    Nov 7, 2013 at 11:34 am

    “Standard pay for a caddie on the PGA Tour is a $1,000 a week plus 5-to-10 percent of a player’s winnings. Sure, if you’re Joe LaCava, Steve Williams, Fluff Cowan, or Bones Mackay, maybe you’re making close to seven figures. But what if you’re carrying a bag for Ken Duke, 50th on the PGA Tour money list at $1,722,583, making 5-to-10 percent of that number plus $1000 a week? ”

    I don’t understand the question… that’s an absolute FORTUNE.

    • john flavia

      Nov 7, 2013 at 11:45 am

      Do caddies pay for their own expenses out of their weekly/winnings-percentage? OR is that additionally compt’d by the player? If they have to pay for their travel/hotel/food accomodations, then that can eat up most, if not all of the $1,000, unless they are sleeping in shared rooms, etc, and eating minimal meals at fast food joints, imo.
      When I go to my annual meetings (4-day trip), even when I try to keep expenses down by staying in the not-so-hottest of hotels, try not to eat fancy dinners, I can’t seem to get away with less than ~$1,200 or so in expenses, including airfare.

      • Chris

        Nov 7, 2013 at 11:52 am

        They normally pay out of pocket. It helps if they have friends in different cities. My buddy stays with me when he comes to town. I can’t tell you how pumped he is to save that few hundred plus have a laundry machine at his disposal. I think he did about 6 loads when he came in a few months ago.

      • Wyatt

        Nov 9, 2013 at 8:32 am

        Yes they are responsible for all their own expenses… Airfare, hotel, food, car, gas, etc….

    • Chris

      Nov 7, 2013 at 11:48 am

      You’re completely neglecting the fact that they have to use that money to pay rent wherever they live plus the hotels/motels that they stay at 7 days a week when on the road. Factor in gas (keeping in mind that tourney’s tend to not be that close to the previous one), food and occasional airfare. They’re not making a fortune unless your pro is. They’re on the road all the time. My friend has been a caddie on tour for the past 3+ years. They had to go to web.com playoffs to keep their card. He talked to caddies there (the web.com loopers) and realized that he had it pretty good. Those guys make nothing. They split rooms and/or sleeping in cars some of the time.

    • Jay

      Nov 7, 2013 at 12:35 pm

      A general rule of thumb is that a private contractor bills out at about 3X what a salaried individual would make in the same role. This is due to differences in tax laws, holiday pay, sick time, ease of termination and numerous other issues. ALso, as he will work in 20+ states during the year he can look forward to a 500+ page tax return.

      SO if you take Ken Dukes caddy at the mid range of the $100-$200k and say $150k, then that is the equivalent of $50k annually. In reality not very good pay for some one who is traveling 30 weeks out of the year.

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Opinion & Analysis

The coveted FedEx Cup Top 30: Why making it to the Tour Championship really matters

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This week at the BMW Championship held at Medinah Golf Club in Chicago, the top 70 players left in the FedEx Cup Playoffs are looking to seal their spot in the top 30 and get to East Lake for the Tour Championship.

Not only does getting into the top 30 mean a chance at winning the FedEx Cup and a cool $15 million bonus for winning the event, but heading into the 2020 season, being in the top 30 comes with some big perks. This top 30 threshold allows players the opportunity to build their schedules around the biggest event in golf.

Let’s take a look at what punching a ticket to East Lake really gets you

  •  An automatic invitation into every major in 2020: The Masters, PGA Championship, US Open, and The Open Championship. For many players qualifying for these events, especially The Masters in a lifelong dream.
  • Invitation to all the WGC Events: There are only a few event on tour that get you an automatic paycheck and FedEx Cup points. Being eligible for the WGCs shows that you are a world-class player, and with these events on the schedule, you don’t have to worry about qualifying through world rankings.
  • Invitation to all limited field events: This includes the Genesis Invitational (formerly Genesis Open / LA Open), The Arnold Palmer Invitational, The Memorial, and The Players Championship.

If a player was to play every one of the qualified events that would put them at 12 events for the season—to maintain a card for the next year a player has to play in at least 15 events. If you conclude that many of these are also winners and will play in the Tournament of Champions in Hawaii that would put the players at 13 events.

This is why being in the top 30 is such a vital line in the proverbial sand—it gives these top players the ability to pick and choose their schedules for the 2019/2020 season without the stress of worrying about what events they are in. Although not to the same extent, this is also why every cutoff is so crucial for each player, whether it be the PGA Tour top 125, PGA Tour 125-150, or those players that gained their cards through the Korn Ferry Tour. Every dollar and every point earned accumulates towards playing opportunities for the next season!

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Opinion & Analysis

WRX Q&A: NewClub’s Matt Considine

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A friend of a friend pointed me to NewClub’s website. Having never heard anything about the effort previously, my first impression of NewClub was a product of its homepage, which looks something like (OK, exactly like) this.

“Sounds great,” I thought. “But what the heck does all of this mean practically?”

To get the answer to that question, I got in touch with founder and CEO Matt Considine, who was kind enough to answer a few questions about the venture.

GolfWRX: Let’s start with a little bit about your background in golf…

Matt Considine: As Lebron likes to say “I’m just a kid from Akron” and like many Midwestern kids, I’ve loved playing games with my friends, especially the game of golf. I grew up working and playing at area clubs, munis, and driving ranges. I always had a club in my hands — my mom will attest to all the divots in her carpet and repaired windows in our house. My first internship in college was with IMG Sports in Cleveland and that was my first formal introduction to the golf industry.

WRX: How did arrive at the concept for NewClub?

MC: Golf societies have been around since 1744, so I’m not sure I can take credit for conceiving anything. We took an old idea and made it new again, something that would mesh with the life of a modern golfer.

The first time I was introduced to a golf society was in 2005, and I haven’t been able to shake the concept since. Like many people I’ve talked to, I was burnt out and frustrated with golf, so I quit my college team and shipped off that summer to study at University College Cork in Ireland for 9 months.

I left to get away from golf but it was my experiences in Ireland that introduced me to a whole new way of enjoying the game. After getting laughed off Cork’s Hurling team (Ireland’s native sport) they found out I could play a little bit of golf and offered me a spot on the club team (league rules permitted one American per squad). My dad shipped my clubs over and I was back in business. Because their University teams operated on a lean budget, we would play matches against local societies and clubs in between the college matches to keep the competition sharp. It was those matches and people I met that taught me a whole new way to look at, appreciate, and enjoy the game of golf. It was a miraculous blessing looking back on it now.

Fast forward 10 years, I was living in Chicago working in business development for a technology company. I kept meeting people who were self-proclaimed “golfers,” but not playing much golf. So a small group of friends took a trip over to Scotland where we had an especially enlightening experience playing the Old Course and hanging out at The New Golf Club of St. Andrews after our match.

It was our experience there that was the final spark that NewClub needed. We enjoyed our lunch while The New Golf Club members file through the entrance, four golfers at a time to reminisce about their game on one of the seven links courses available to them through the St. Andrews Links Trust and their golf society membership.

We met teachers, bankers, architects, grocers, police officers, accountants, and fishermen. We heard stories about legendary members like Tom Morris and Sandy Herd. The New Golf Club of St. Andrews is a magical place where any golfer in their community, anyone in good standing with a passion for the game could make their golfing home.

When I returned to Chicago from that second pilgrimage in May of 2015, I decided it was time to start enjoying golf again. Just like the way I used to as a kid, the way those clubs and societies did in Ireland, and the way those members did at The New Golf Club of St. Andrews. That summer I started a standing game every Saturday at any compelling course I could find and my golf society was born. Then in 2017, we made NewClub official with 50 founding members and 5 clubs in Chicago willing to host the society.

Matt Considine

WRX: What’s happened since launch and where you are now?

MC: The society has grown to over 300 members and we have relationships with over 50 private clubs and golf courses that we find fun and compelling places to play the game. We have standing tee times every Wednesday to Sunday throughout the golf season and host five tournaments and three trips every year. Next Spring, we have our first NewClub trip scheduled to back to Scotland.

We’ve also introduced an ambassador program for people from all around the country. It’s been amazing how many people we’ve met who are eager for something like this in their own community, a golf society that they can genuinely be proud of.

WRX: Anything more about what members are saying and what the feedback is been like?

MC: In a lot of ways, we’ve set up this really unique society golf experiment, so we’re not afraid to try new things and see how people respond. Our members have been incredibly helpful with feedback. We’ve been listening a lot, watching how they use the mobile app, how they play their golf, learning about things they need, things they don’t. It all has helped us get to where we are now.

Overall, we’ve found that people have enjoyed the access and discovery of new and exciting courses, but the more pleasant surprise has been how much our members enjoy meeting new people and playing with each other. Nobody ever thinks (or admits) that they need golf buddies. But what we’ve found is that people are far more likely to play a round if they know they’ll be playing with someone they actually want to play with.

We’ve also learned that match play is very unappreciated in our country. Members love the matches, and match play is one of our core principles at NewClub.

WRX: What’s next for NewClub?

MC: We have plans for our second market launch in 2020 and will continue to grow our ambassador program to show us the road ahead. People are starting to stand up and say “this is how I want to experience golf,” so we know there is a serious need out there and we want to make sure we are meeting the demand by growing in the right way.

WRX: What do prospective members need to know?

MC: We have a really straightforward and proprietary application process on our website. Every prospective member needs to complete the application before being considered for membership. We look for applicants who possess a high quality of character, passion, and respect for the game of golf, and always leave the course in better shape than they found it.

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Opinion & Analysis

Slow play is all about the numbers

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If you gather round, children, I’ll let you in on a secret: slow play is all about the numbers. Which numbers? The competitive ones. If you compete at golf, no matter the level, you care about the numbers you post for a hole, a round, or an entire tournament. Those numbers cause you to care about the prize at the end of the competition, be it a handshake, $$$$, a trophy, or some other bauble. Multiply the amount that you care, times the number of golfers in your group, your flight, the tournament, and the slowness of golf increases by that exponent.

That’s it. You don’t have to read any farther to understand the premise of this opinion piece. If you continue, though, I promise to share a nice anecdotal story about a round of golf I played recently—a round of golf on a packed golf course, that took a twosome exactly three hours and 10 minutes to complete, holing all putts.

I teach and coach at a Buffalo-area high school. One of my former golfers, in town for a few August days, asked if we could play the Grover Cleveland Golf Course while he was about. Grover is a special place for me: I grew up sneaking on during the 1970s. It hosted the 1912 U.S. Open when it was the Country Club of Buffalo. I returned to play it with Tom Coyne this spring, becoming a member of #CitizensOfACCA in the process.

Since my former golfer’s name is Alex, we’ll call him Alex, to avoid confusion. Alex and I teed off at 1:30 on a busy, sunny Wednesday afternoon in August. Ahead of us were a few foursomes; behind us, a few more. There may have been money games in either place, or Directors’ Cup matches, but to us, it was no matter. We teed it high and let it fly. I caught up on Alex’ four years in college, and his plans for the upcoming year. I shared with him the comings and goings of life at school, which teachers had left since his graduation, and how many classrooms had new occupants. It was barroom stuff, picnic-table conversation, water-cooler gossip. Nothing of dense matter nor substance, but pertinent and enjoyable, all the same.

To the golf. Neither one of us looked at the other for permission to hit. Whoever was away, at any given moment, mattered not a bit. He hit and I hit, sometimes simultaneously, sometimes within an instant of the other. We reached the putting surface and we putted. Same pattern, same patter. Since my high school golfers will need to choose flagstick in or out this year, we putted with it in. Only once did it impact our roll: a pounded putt’s pace was slowed by the metal shaft. Score one for Bryson and the flagstick-in premise!

Grover tips out around 5,600 yards. After the U.S. Open and the US Public Links were contested there, a healthy portion of land was given away to the Veteran’s Administration, and sorely-needed hospital was constructed at the confluence of Bailey, Lebrun, and Winspear Avenues. It’s an interesting track, as it now and forever is the only course to have hosted both the Open and the Publinx; since the latter no longer exists, this fact won’t change. It remains the only course to have played a par-6 hole in U.S. Open competition. 480 of those 620 yards still remain, the eighth hole along Bailey Avenue. It’s not a long course, it doesn’t have unmanageable water hazards (unless it rains a lot, and the blocked aquifer backs up) and the bunkering is not, in the least, intimidating.

Here’s the rub: Alex and I both shot 75 or better. We’re not certain what we shot, because we weren’t concerned with score. We were out for a day of reminiscence, camaraderie, and recreation. We golfed our balls, as they say in some environs, for the sheer delight of golfing our balls. Alex is tall, and hits this beautiful, high draw that scrapes the belly of the clouds. I hit what my golfing buddies call a power push. It gets out there a surprising distance, but in no way mimics Alex’ trace. We have the entire course covered, from left to right and back again.

On the 14th tee, I checked my phone and it was 3:40. I commented, “Holy smokes, we are at two hours for 13 holes.” We neither quickened nor slowed our pace. We tapped in on 18, right around 4:40, and shook hands. I know what he’s been up to. He understands why I still have a day job, and 18 holes of golf were played—because we both cared and didn’t care.

There you have it, children. Off with you, now. To the golf course. Play like you don’t care.

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